A Letter to My Daughter on My First Mother's Day

Madelynn Kristina, 

Before I heard your first cry for breath, I didn't understand that a love like the one I have for you could exist.  Tears clouded my eyes upon the first glimpse I had of you and I knew my life would be forever different now that you were in it with me.  I didn't know at that point, just how different it would be and how much you, a tiny, helpless, speechless, precious girl, could change me.

You have given me new eyes: eyes that see your every trait. The freckle that appeared on your right ankle a few months after your birth to mirror the mark on my left side. The dimple on your chin when you smile to remind me of your daddy. The depth of your blue eyes and your olive-toned skin. The small mark on the tip of your nose, which has us always wondering if you'll share your mommy's signature, silly freckle. My eyes love every bit of you. 

You have given me new ears: ears to hear your every coo.  Your ever-changing voice as it matures and learns to speak words.  From your very first infant cries, to your dadas, mamas, blahblahs. Your wheezes that scared me to bringing you to the doctor only to be told you are just experimenting with your voice and being a silly, silly girl.  Your grunts and moans as you slip into a sleep you so desperately crave. Your sneezes (and your subsequent smile), and your burps. Your snores as you dream in your deep slumber. Your cries to be held and rocked and cradled. Your screams! Oh, those screams, that I like to call your "singing".  My ears love every sound you make. 

You have given me new feeling: skin that craves to be near your own. The way you turn your body into mine to be held more tightly. The soft caress you give as you nurse. The 'honk-honk' of my nose being grabbed by curious fingers and the 'eek!' pain as you learn that you can scratch things with those ever-sharp nails of yours. Your wiggle and turning as you experiment with different positions while in my arms. Your head resting calmly on my left shoulder. Your soft, baby hair wisping along my lips and under my nose as I kiss the top of your head. The eskimo kisses against your little button nose. The warmth of your tummy tucked against mine as we rock in the chair and sing soft lullabies. Your funny, open-mouthed, wet kisses and big smile after we "mmmmm-mahhhhh!" Oh, how I love your every touch. 

You have given me new tastes: tastes for funny combinations of food! Strawberries and macaroni and cheese. Roast beef and bananas.  Peas and pears with salmon and french toast sticks.  Oh, how I love experimenting new foods with you. 

You have given me a nose filled with scents that I will never tire of. The scent of your skin. There is nothing more soothing, calming and perfect than the scent of your skin. Your sweet baby breath as you babble close to my face.  Your stinky diapers! Ha! And your yucky, yogurt-burps! The scent of your scalp as you rest in my arms. Oh, my dear Madelynn, I love your smell and the way my heart stirs with every small sniff. 

You, Madelynn Kristina, have given me my most cherished gift. You have given me the gift of motherhood and the gift of a daughter. 

I will never stop loving you. 

I will always be praying for you. 

I will always be here for you. 

Unconditional love outflowing from my heart into yours forever and ever. 

Love, 

Mommy